Primary Tithing Worksheet

As I was mulling how much my lessons for primary are driving me crazy, I realized that what I do best is teach early learning concepts, in lots of different ways.

This week's lesson is on tithing, so I made a little worksheet.  I thought I'd share because it was a pain to make but it's easy breezy to print out!

Hopefully it's of some use to someone.  I'm sure all the kids could use help with their counting, and while most of the examples only use 10 items, one of them uses twenty.

Go Ahead, Caffinate

Wow, kind of taken back by an official church stance.

I still am not a fan of Caffeine, but I don't think that everything that might be the best for us is ruled out by the word of wisdom.  I am glad the church clarified, I like this article.

Conner's been trying to drink Dr. Pepper a lot lately, no surprise since his father enjoys it to its fullest.

I'm not a fan of it... but I'm a water girl.  Water all the way, baby. :)

What I Learned This Month

Don't you love it when you ask your kids, "What did you learn today?"

"nothing."

Nice.  Time well spent.

Well, I think we're always learning and I thought about what I learned this month:

1.  I am not a humidity fan.  Really, not at all.  The humidity has been KILLING ME, was it this humid last year?

2.  I shouldn't bring up Autism.  I guess I also learned that most moms are overwhelmed, diagnosis or no diagnosis.  I am glad I wrote that post though.  They are still mainly my opinions.  Though, now unpublished. :)

3.  There are some people you REALLY click with, and others that you don't and that's OK.  I sometimes feel like I need to be friends with the whole world.  Truth be told, I don't.

4.  I spend too much time on my computer.  Big shock.  It's been more since the kids have been in school and I don't like it.

5.  I really like reading.  I'm loving Saving Cee Cee Honeycut and we've started a book group.  Am I turning into a grown-up?

6.  Princess P likes her thumbs more then Mr Middle did.  So far she has switched thumbs without a care, and we are on  box #3 of bandaids...

7.  A 5 dollar nightgown from walmart can be enough of a bribe to keep your panties dry at night.  Not planning on never changing another sheet, but happy to never buy a pullup again!
nah....

What did you learn this month?  Don't tell me nothing.  You know I hate that.

Mormon in America: How I Hate to Love Him

I have bad news.

I really like Mitt Romney.

I tried to hate him, I really did.  I don't normally like "mainstream" LDS people.  I have a special distaste for people who have made a lot of money off being Mormon (another post for another day).  But, Mitt Romney is truly a self made man.

He doesn't brag about the MANY amazing things he has done with his life and his money, because he has.  He has spent countless unpaid hours counseling people, performing service and being a good neighbor.

But, that's not why I like him.

I really like his policies.  The meat of his presidential campaign, I really like it.  And maybe you don't, and that's fine.

I've had a lot of people ask me if we're required to vote for Mitt Romney in our church.  It couldn't be further from the truth.  The LDS church has a strong position of neutrality.  I'm grateful for that.  Sadly, many people IN the church aren't quite as neural.  I fear raising Mr Romney to the position of apostle after this is all said and done, but he's not.  He's just a guy.  I'm doubtful he even has a calling right now.  I think he deserves a little time off.  I hope he's put in the nursery soon though, put all that kissing babies practice to good work.

The LDS church doesn't endorse any political campaign.  They may get behind ISSUES, but the people and the platforms, not so much.  You'll never hear of Mitt Romney giving a campaign speech at an LDS church because it's simply not allowed.  I don't think we even use our churches as polling places, do we?

I think that boils down a lot of my love for this church and the gospel in general.  We are truly allowed to be our own person and have our own thoughts.  Sure, we get told to do a lot of stuff, but we always have the opportunity (and are encouraged) to pray about things before jumping in with both feet.  I think God is aware that we might need some time to change our viewpoints on a few things.

I'm grateful for that, and I'm grateful for this church.  I promise you, if you are looking for something in your life to make a change for the better, this church is it.  You can read more about my church here:

Tithing: The Flip Side

I think this said it: "The church can be quite a money drain."

It's true.  I see people leave the church who certainly increase their standard of living.

And that's their choice.

The thing is, it's not like they're able to all the sudden able to feed their family.  But, maybe they're able to go to movies on Sunday or stay out late and drink wine.

And frankly, I'm just not sure that's what I am missing in my life.  I think that tithing just makes me prioritize what's really important to me.

I don't see the flip side of tithing.  I don't find it hard to pay and the church is always there if the "needs" aren't being met.  I'm thankful for that.

And let's face it, naps are free. :)

Mormon in America: Money

Mormons pay tithing.  That's 10% of your "increase" -- and your "increase" is pretty well left to be defined by yourself.  Most people pay it off of gross or net income -- whatever you feel best about.  Personally, I have an intricate algorithm of variables that defines mine off my paycheck.  In case you care. :)

We also go without 2 meals a month and give that money (or a lot more then that money) to the church in  "fast offerings" to feed the poor in our community.

We also pay for our own missions, help build the temples and all sorts of other stuff.

Suffice it to say, the church can be quite a money drain.

I once had friends do an intervention on me one day at work.  Just asking me to question why I give tithing and how these people had hoodwinked me into giving them all my money.

Do I adore writing the tithing check?  Meh, not so much.  I don't really think about it anymore and I hope to ingrain that in my kids.  It's just something you do.

I was thinking about the things I do and how, maybe, I don't see the blessings of them because they're stuff I just ALWAYS do.

I don't have any miraculous experiences of things magically being paid for, but I can testify that we have always been fine.  I am guessing that I don't see the amazing blessings possibly because I am often offered shifts at the right time.  I just don't see it as a miracle, when maybe it is.  We had a few years of great prosperity that prepared us for this move.  I felt compelled to save a great portion of that money, but I used enough to make me feel like we'd gotten somewhere.

I just know that by paying into the church God makes sure we're taken care of.  100%.

I think when one looks at Mitt Romeny they might see someone who has a ton of money.  I think they don't think about the enormous amount of charity that he does with his money or his time.  I think they might look at their beautiful homes but don't really think that they probably never had a nanny or a personal chef.  Sure, they're rich but I don't think they've defined their lives through excess.  I think they know that by being good stewards of what they have they will be blessed, and be able to bless others more abundantly.

What do you think about tithing?  Do you think the church is just flush with funds?  I'm giving a bunch of 4 year olds the lesson on Sunday about tithing, I'd love to hear what you think!

Flip side of inequality

The other day Conner told me he was going to choose who said the prayer because he held the priesthood and I didn't.

And the proverbial &(@% hit the fan.

Poor, poor Conner.

Someone should have warned him.

He knows better now.

I think all moms need to make sure it is VERY clear to their little boys that having the priesthood does NOT make them any better (or worse) then girls.

They are different.

Just like little girls should be.

I am grateful that the church has made it VERY clear that the priesthood isn't to rule over the home, but that husband and wife rule together.

It's a happy thing, don't you think?

Because I take orders from no-one. 

Unless we're playing "diner" -- and then I try. :)

My response to anonymous commenters...

First off, if you care to have your comment heard, I would suggest you put your name on it....

Secondly, the church I have been raised in and believe is true has allowed blacks. I was 2 when they took the "ban" off.  I think if that ban was in place today I'd have a really hard time with it.  But it's not.  SO grateful for that.

I do want to say that my heart breaks thinking about people who weren't able to enter the temple or receive the priesthood.  I think, until recently,  I didn't really grasp the enormity of it...  I don't think I really can. 

It was really sad.  I think that people who clung this religion at a time that they couldn't even have "all" of it are strong, strong people.  I believe there is a special place in heaven for them.

Which, will not be the same place as anonymous commenter's will be in.  But then, they know everything so, I'm sure they know that.

Don't you?

**I love questions and comments of all types on this blog.  Feel free to put your name on your work! :)

Mormon in America: Inequality

Besides wanting to tell that "Mormon feminist" that there is work enough to do and she should start pitching in more instead of thinking so darn much about how hard it is to be a woman...

Women can't have the priesthood in our church.

That, my friends, is never going to change.  Unless we get to a point where a baby can be attached to the testicles for their placenta and grow in the abdomen, which seems pretty sketchy -- so I think I'm safe to say never.

Here's my little opinion.  Men need something to strive for.  The service aspect of priesthood (which is pretty well all aspects of the priesthood) gives them that.  They are able to look beyond themselves and their desire to watch movies, play video games and generally lounge, when off work, and see that there's "more" to what they have to do.

And the reality is that the bishop is fairly similar to the PTA president.  There's a LOT about staffing the ward and figuring out how everyone's doing.  There are amounts of counseling and administrative jobs like paying bills, etc.  But, I don't know what school has 9 million people clamoring to be the PTA president, not anyone I've been to!

He doesn't sit around and micromanage everyone's job.  He's just glad someone is DOING the job.

Women are very much in the decision making process.  The bishop most likely has a wife that he get some council from, along with women in charge of the children, the young women and the women's organization.  We're in every aspect.

When you really get into the inner workings, we're still running the church.  We're making sure things get done and doing them correctly.  We just don't have the titles.

That isn't to say that the bishop doesn't have a REALLY BIG job.  We are told not to talk bad about him, and to pretty well do what he says -- but the reality of it all is that it is an entirely voluntary organization and if we don't like what he says we can work to amend our own viewpoints with theirs.  One of my own personal "ah-hah" moments was the time I was in with the bishop and he told me just not to do something if I disagreed with it.  It wasn't anything big, just an activity that I disagreed with.  I know, I am lame -- but it was an eye opener to me.

I think priesthood is the big equalizer.  Otherwise women would take over in our take over ways and make this church like the city of Enoch and who would that help?

The Flip Side of Chastity

I really liked yesterday's flip side post.  And while I don't really think there is much of a flip side to chastity.  A few thoughts I had:

1.  Anyone remember when BYU had a big issue with people going to Vegas to get married just so they could have sex?  Obviously, it's better to just have sex then to just really prove what a giant idiot you are, but I think if you're really teaching the concepts this isn't an issue.  At least, I hope.

2.  Too many people jump into marriage just to jump in each other's pants.  Again, a stupid decision.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that there are a lot worse decisions a person can make then having sex before they are married.

I am also grateful for the atonement for the many times we ALL make mistakes.

I also think we can't sit idly by and not talk to our kids about the pressures they will feel as they grow up.  It has to be a constant in our hearts and in our council around the dinner table, while we're on a bike ride and while we're camping.  They will face many tempatations and I hope my voice is one of the many in their head.

In other news, a great video.

Mormon in America: Chastity

I got married here:

Amazing, no?

I remember when the olympics were in SLC I had a lot of comments of non-LDS friends saying how lovely that temple is.  Then, I'd say "I got married there." and their jaw would drop and they'd ask me how much it cost to get married there.

"It was free." {long pause}"I just couldn't have sex before I got married."
"oh."

{also, i think most people figure that's a giant cathedral type buildling but it's split into several levels.... there are a few large rooms, but most are smaller, just so's you know's}

Anyway, it's true.  I got married as a virgin.  I didn't even do anything "like" it -- unless you call kissing "like" it -- because I don't.

Drew and I have practically made a sport of watching high schooler's lives.  We have seen many ways in which the gospel helps.  The strength of the youth pamphlet says this:

Physical intimacy between husband and wife is beautiful and sacred. It is ordained of God for the creation of children and for the expression of love between husband and wife. God has commanded that sexual intimacy be reserved for marriage.

When you are sexually pure, you prepare yourself to make and keep sacred covenants in the temple. You prepare yourself to build a strong marriage and to bring children into the world as part of an eternal and loving family. You protect yourself from the spiritual and emotional damage that come from sharing sexual intimacy outside of marriage. You also protect yourself from harmful diseases. Remaining sexually pure helps you to be confident and truly happy and improves your ability to make good decisions now and in the future.

The Lord’s standard regarding sexual purity is clear and unchanging. Do not have any sexual relations before marriage, and be completely faithful to your spouse after marriage. Do not allow the media, your peers, or others to persuade you that sexual intimacy before marriage is acceptable. It is not. In God’s sight, sexual sins are extremely serious. They defile the sacred power God has given us to create life. The prophet Alma taught that sexual sins are more serious than any other sins except murder or denying the Holy Ghost (see Alma 39:5).

It's pretty clear, isn't it:?  Are you that clear with your kids?  Maybe you don't want them to be abstinent, but we have seen COUNTLESS teenagers hurt by early sexual relations.  End of story.  The truth is that high school students aren't ready to have sex.  They mentally can't take it when the other person leaves them, or gives them a "special gift" (be it a baby or an STD), or is having sex with several people.  Their hearts just aren't ready (although frankly, I'm not sure anyone's heart is ready to be tromped on by inconsiderate genital brains).  I know what it's like to have a broken heart and how much it hurts.  It's painful, and it's likely to happen, but sex just adds an extra layer of pain, and that layer of pain takes you away from the joy of high school.  Enjoying time with lots of different friends doing many things and finding your niche.

I haven't made a sport of watching college students, but I know plenty of girls who wish they hadn't been as "active" as they were.  STD's can come back to haunt you later in life.  I know several doctors, who if you've ever had herpes just c-section you.

Not to mention the fact that you are so crazy fertile at that age.

Honestly, I think 16 is the age we were meant, physically, to start having kids.  Certainly, those girls (especially now a days) aren't mature enough to keep a puppy alive, but their bodies can push out a baby like nobody's business. :)  Just an aside.

But, back to chastity.  I do think it's encompasses a lot more then sex.  I think a chaste girl just acts in a way that doesn't draw attention to the sexual part of her.  That isn't to say that part isn't important, because hopefully she will utilize it often once she is married {snort, that sentence makes me giggle}.  That means in the way she dresses, the media she chooses to watch or listen to.  It is the "whole" girl.  A virtuous woman, if you will.

I also think that remaining chaste makes us get married earlier, and while you may have lots of view on that opinion I am constantly seeing news stories saying that children born to younger couples (and I am talking less then advanced maternal age here -- which is 35) are less likely for mutations, be it autism, trisomy 21 or 18, etc.  If you aren't gettin' the milk for free, you're likely to buy the cow. {wink, wink}

Anyway, I think that if your viewpoint is that your children should be able to have sex once they find someone they "love" you need to re-think that plan.  You need to voice your opinion often and loudly.  So often your kids roll their eyes and mimic your speech along with you.  I just hope that speech comes back to their head at the right time...

On the Flip Side, the Sabbath

I finished writing my post from this morning about the Sabbath and kind of rolled my eyes.

Did it tell the whole truth?

Maybe not....

I have a really hard time sitting still and concentrating during church.  I have an even harder time with kids using me as a jungle gym and expressing their own displeasure at our Sabbath requirements.

And honestly, if I prepare one more lesson about choosing the right for my 4 year olds I might just choose the wrong.  In a big way.

So, to my Mormons out there, I ask you:

1.  Do you have any tips for youself, to keep yourself "in" the meeting and concentrating?
2.  When you've prepared what seems like the SAME primary lesson for the 4 millionth time, how do you keep from not wanting to start some false doctrine out there, you know -- just to keep it interesting. :)
3.  Do you like the sabbath, does it really make your life more holy?  Or am I just being polly positive on this one? :)

Mormon in America: The Sabbath

Well, since Mitt's going to open up more about his own religion,  I thought I might do my own little segment on Mormon in America right here from the desert.

I find that our religion asks so much of us, it leaves most people wondering why on EARTH we would do something like that to ourselves.  I think I might delve into the perks I see for the "requirements" of our religion.

Yesterday I was thinking about what a blessing the Sabbath is.  How God has given us one full day just to concentrate on him, and our families and how we can be better those other 6 days during the week.  As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints we are (quoted from the Strength of the Youth pamphlet):

Honoring the Sabbath day includes attending all your Church meetings. Go to sacrament meeting prepared to worship the Lord and partake worthily of the sacrament. During sacrament meeting, be reverent and willing to learn. Refrain from activities that would distract you or others during this sacred meeting. Be on time for your meetings. As you do these things, you invite the Spirit of the Lord to be with you.
Prepare during the week so that you can reserve Sunday for the many uplifting activities that are appropriate for the Sabbath day. Such activities include spending quiet time with your family, studying the gospel, fulfilling your Church callings and responsibilities, serving others, writing letters, writing in your journal, and doing family history work. Your behavior and dress on the Sabbath should show respect for the Lord and His holy day.

For me, this boils down to the fact that we don't shop, we don't go out to eat on Sundays.  We also don't do activities that would distract us from our main focus (which, for me is Jesus Christ and my family).  It is true that I wrangle a 3 year old during church and I spend another 2 hours with a bunch of 4 year olds who try my patience in a major way each Sunday... so it isn't to say that the day is all fun and games, but I am given the opportunity to think about my life and how to improve it.

I know a lot of people relish in their family dinners going out to eat, or they just can't find time to go to the store during the rest of the week.  I would just challenge you to make that meal at home.  Kids need to learn how to cook and Sunday dinners is a great time to teach them.

I know it sounds cliche to say that this expectation of the church is truly a blessing instead of a burden, but it really is.  True observance of the Sabbath gives your life peace and you find so many blessings in it.  I say give it a try for a month, see if you like it!

Hi, My Name is Hilary, and I am the Daughter of an Economist

Bring on the coffee and doughnuts because I am addicted to reviewing our finances.

Some of you might remember that Drew initially accepted this job at 80% pay (because he only "worked" 80%... sure, right).  Last year was a "lean" year, although I must admit it probably isn't going to be much better until he's graduated but it's true that month to month is much better.

So, I was updating the budget.  A few things were creeping in monthly that were necessary, but not on the budget, so I fixed that.  I'd like to budget for most everything, even small payments like school lunches and stuff like that.

Because I am extremely anal I thought it might be fun to have a pie chart and see where it all goes:

I guess you're supposed to spend less then 35% of your income on your mortgage.  This doesn't show any of the money that we're savings (aka, giving to ASU at each semester).  I hate that Health Insurance payment.  Especially since we so very rarely use it, but it's a necessity.  That's just for me and the kids, since Drew is fully covered by the school.  Weekly money is spent on mostly eating, along with the costco budget.

Anyway, I'd love to know what your numbers show.  It's facinating to me...

Because I am a loser.  Are you?

Being Mormon in America

I just finished watching Mormon in America on Rock Center last night.  All in all a pretty positive overview of the church.  I was thankful how in depth the look was at our humanitarian work.  I think the bishop's storehouse is a marvel of giving.  It is truly how Christ would act if he were here on earth.

I did have a few problems:

LDS women not in "leadership" -- uh-huh... yea, we sure don't do much in this church.  Apparently that woman had never been in primary, or Young Women's, relief society or a ward party.  I get tired of women who say it's not fair that we don't get "leadership" roles or the priesthood.  Honestly, then just work harder in the things you ARE doing.  I think maybe they're not busy enough because the absolute LAST thing I want to be on this earth is a bishop.  Well, except for a minion of Satan.  I guess I'd rather be bishop then that. :)

Jon Huntsman's daughter bugged me to no end.  As if she hadn't heard her entire life that she would miss out on blessings by marrying a non member.  That bishop just said what every young women leader had said her entire 6 years in young women's.  And the truth is she probably, in her heart, does miss a lot of the things that she had growing up.  Maybe she doesn't, but either way, I have NO idea why they interviewed her.  She bugged me.  The other truth is that she could have easily stayed in the church while married to a non-member.  Plenty of women do it, and they are amazing.  The truth also is the probably that her father was a bishop and said the exact same things to other young girls.  I have a very hard time with people who have left the church acting like they know what Mormons are thinking.   Anyone else bugged like crazy by her?  Maybe it was her eyelashes... 

I actually really liked the guy from the Book of Mormon musical.  I think living gay in this church is near impossible, and can only be done by obedience and a extremely strong hold of the gospel of Jesus Christ, much stronger then I most likely have.  He still seems to know it's true, but can't reconcile it with his heart.  I get that.

The thing with being Mormon in America is truly that you are either in, or you are you are out.  There's no Easter and Christmas Mormons.  We make promises in the temple (hence the garment, it's a reminder of the promises we make in the temple) and you are either working hard to live up to those promises, or you are not.  And you're chosing it, no one else is. 

Do I want this "Mormon Moment?"  Am I thrilled by our church's moment in the press.  That's a big no.  That isn't to say that I don't share that I'm LDS (because the church's actual name is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) with most people who know me on any level of friendship.  I do, but I want them to know me as a normal person who strives to be good, honest, fun and loving.  I also have funny underwear, aren't I snazzy! :)  I think that the Mormon Moments comes as people realize that those who often volunteer amongst them are LDS.  I don't think they come from the mainstream media.  It's nice, but it always makes me nervous.

I think each Mormon kind of has their moment (or moments, but I had mine) where they decide that following Jesus is more important then what they want to do.  I think we often make those small decisions daily/weekly (going to church, holding scripture study with our family) -- but there seem to be BIG moments in everyone's life where they make that choice.  I, honestly, don't think that's a choice most people have the conviction to make, so I am proud to say I am Mormon.  And lucky to be so.

Random Friday

Instgram has kind of stolen my thunder for photo Friday.  Maybe when I get out my "real' camera it will return.

So, here's some random thoughts:

• This morning I had everything in the car ready to go grocery shopping when I couldn't find the coupon thing I'd put together this week.  It's pink, so I knew Princess P has an affinity for pink.  I ran all over the house, with no avail.  I was really disappointed as I had it all organized and it was going to save me at least 6 bucks... I finally just knelt down and prayed, I was just frustrated as could be.  I got up, looked right where it was, grabbed it and went.  How often does that happen?  So many people would call that a coincidence.  I think those people are wrong.
• MAN did it rain this morning (see instagram feed to the right).  It's crazy how it will just POUR here and then, "snap" it's done.  Crazy I tell you.  Mr Middle was pretty happy to be using the umbrella he's gotten hardly ANY use out of since he got it from Santa at Christmas.  That is, until it started POURING down on him.  I think it maybe wasn't quite that fun at that point. :)
• I have so many wonderful people in my life.  Last night, in my prayers, I just started naming all the people that I am SO grateful are in my life.  I had to stop myself, my knees couldn't take it anymore. :)  It truly is an amazing world.
• I am couponing again.  I saved maybe 6 bucks, all on stuff we needed, got a lot of cereal and granola bars for under a buck.  I'm just finding peelies or printing off the internet.  We haven't gotten the paper here yet.  Not sure I'm up for that.
• I'm a reading machine lately. I will blog about it more, but right now I'm reading Saving Cee Cee Honeycutt and I'm loving it.  Very help-like, so far.  Just had me in tears over how much good one person can do for another person.

And now, I'm being "Paiged" to watch Mr Rogers.  Would anyony like to place bets on me staying awake during said show?  Me neither...

Instagram

Blech.  I'm on instagram.  Just a sheep, following the crowd.

But, I must admit I really like visually following my friends on their day.  I'm gonna try and take a photo a day with this thing, it's fun to do...

Anyway, I put it in my sidebar (so far, super boring, no shocker there), if you want to add it to your blog I found an easy way at snapwidget.

Come follow me @hillyut on instagram!

 

What's Up Wednesday

Man, school is in full swing and I'm starting to feel its drag.  Darn it, I sure did love it when it was all fresh and new.

Princess P is loving our little lessons.  She's had a few more play dates lately and I adore listening to her little conversations with her friends.  She is such a sweet thoughtful girl.  A sweet, thoughtful girl that won't nap -- but still a sweet, thoughtful girl.  I have placated her needs for a preschool class by signing her up for some classes through the city in a few weeks.  That girl needs her social time!

Mr Middle is loving his 3rd grade class.  I'm so happy.  He seems to have found new zest for writing and I am LOVING that his teacher doesn't do homework packets.  He's doing computer games for his math time, and it's been nice to see the plentiful stuff on our friend the Internet available for him to use.  In other news, he literally can't figure out how to play the piano to the metronome.  Literally can't.  I have a feeling we'll be doing some marching and clapping.  Brings out the drum major in me. :)

El Presidante has got into the groove of thing.  We are really working on responsibility with him, and me reminding myself that these are his years to get his act together.  These are the years he can fail without much consequence (besides a nagging mother).  I'm figuring out natural consequences for the things I see in him.  One of them is some fine lectures on organization from his OCD mother.  Can you think of a finer consequence?

Me neither.

Drew starts ASU any day now.  I think he's doing a class that requires him to make lesson plans.  GUESS what he's doing already for pay?  I knew we could align these two goals somehow. :)

Just steeling myself for those hours after 3 pm until bedtime.  Such a whirlwind of emotion and energy comes in the door.  Never know what awaits me.  It's kind of like the lottery. :)  Other then that I have a set schedule at work that I'm really liking.  I'm hoping to grab a couple of other shifts in addition to that.  I'm noticing myself on the Internet a bit too much lately.  Did I mention I need a hobby.  Thinking of making some skirts for princess P....  Some LONG skirts. :)  We all know I love me some modesty. :)

The Green Monster...

Hopefully I didn't tick too many people off with my thoughts below...

and if I did, I think that's what is great about blogs.  I really like windows into other people's lives and thoughts.  I don't particularly love people who self edit a ton (although, you can't see it I did, in fact, self edit a lot on the post below, because I know it's a sensitive topic for people).  I think if we were thoughtful, but said what we felt, the world would probably be a better place.  I am really thankful for the thoughts I've had about that post.  Some of them maybe changed my view a little.  Some didn't. :)

Last night I was reading blogs... and I was already in a bad "place" -- kids driving me nuts, marching band in full swing and feeling the  burdern of my checkbook and my life...

Reading blogs didn't help.  People with all their amazing summer trips and fancy new school clothes and I just felt the green head of jealousy pop up all over the place.

Why do other people get fancy trips?
there's no way we'll ever have trips like that
why are their kids always clean?
I bet she never yells.
Look at all that gorgeous furniture!  I want a kitchen table...

{and on, and on...}
{this ever happen to you?}

I went to bed in said sour mood, but as always a night of sleep and some scriptures in the morning always centers me.

Of course some good old fashioned cleaning helped too.  Cleaning can be so cathartic.  I was thinking of my jealousies of the last night.  I had a flashback to how I'd drool over other people's houses when we lived in California.  The reality was, that if we'd stayed in CA we never would have gotten a bigger house.  It wasn't something to aspire to.  The road stopped at 1170 square feet.

Also, the other reality is that if I worked full time we could do all sorts of amazing things.

And my life would  be uber chaotic, and I wouldn't be with the people I love most and doing the things that mean the most to me.  And frankly, I'm not sure I could do the job that I love so much now full time.

I am a delicate flower.

I guess the reality is that we can have whatever we want, but we have to pay the price.  That makes me think of Once Upon a Time (the TV show, anyone else watch?) where they always say that magic comes with a price.  In reality, magic does come at a price.

And I gues I'm just fine with the magic we already have around here. :)

What I'm Going To Do With Out Health Insurance

My health insurance went up, almost 10 percent.  GIGANTIC BOOO!!!!

i'm mulling over options.

I talked to a smart friend who has a super high deductible with an HSA plan.

But, after Conner's little accident I started to get nervous about all those gangly limbs and how he is right at the age to snap something, or more then one something....

So, now I'm thinking about getting an accident plan.  For, something like 30 bucks/month, we're covered for accidents, after a 250 dollar deductible. 

So, I'd increase my HSA plan deductible to 5.5k (saving 150/month) and get that accident insurance...

Thoughts?

Do I just suck it up and pray nothing happens?

I'm lucky to have the skills to self diagnose a lot of stuff, just not able to set limbs. 

Maybe I need more schooling...

Thoughts?  Maybe from those smarter then me?

The "Left At Home's"

Princess P is pretty upset that she doesn't have a school.  She's on the wait list for a "real" school but in the meantime I need to cram as much learning into that little head as I can muster.  We're really into our routine right now and I'm pretty jazzed about it (most days).  Here's some of what we're up to:

1.  Workbooks -- man girls are kind of self equipped to WORK a workbook.  I even put some of her crayons and coloring books in a kitchen drawer because she loves to color by me while we both "work".  I LOVE Costco's workbooks.  I really want to look through a workbook before I buy.  There's been a lot of great ones lately.  I like full color and if it has stickers, well that's just a huge bonus!  I really think the main thing she learns from workbooks is following directions.  Some days we circle one thing, some days our circle needs to be big enough for ALL the things, nothing big.  I must admit I over-bought in the workbook area, we have this one and a few others that I'm rotating through this year.

2.  Sound out words and sight words.  We have a list of sound out words we plow through each day (usually  5 to 10 of them, usually within the same letter family or letter sound family) and we do sight words.  I, being an idiot, thought I knew how all the sight words went, like which ones were used most often.  Then, last week while perusing the Internet I found out I was totally wrong, so I have re-grouped them into frequency to hopefully help us with a our books a little  bit more.  Sounding out was leading us to a standstill late last school year, so I added sight words and it's helped a lot.

3.  Puzzles --  I think puzzles incorporate so many skills, so I got a bunch of fun ones at the dollar store.  Most are 24 pieces right now.  We try to do the same one all week, so by the end of the week she can do it without any help.

4. Early readers -- and I do mean REALLY early readers.  Very few pages, and very few words on the page.  She hopefully gets a few words each page, but we work on finding the sight words we know, and sounding out a few words.  It can be really frustrating so I need these to be short.  I found a cheap set at Barnes and Noble when Mr Middle was little and I have a few other sets from El Presidante -- I kind of wish we had the bob books, but I sojourn on. :)  Anyone use BOB?  they seem so smart... thoughts?

5.  Books on tape -- I got like 30 of these when Conner was a beginning reader.  I love how I can turn the tape on and forget it.  Sadly, some companies decided the "chime" wasn't important so kids would know when to turn the page.  Princess P is LOVING some of the princess ones I somehow have, lucky me!  Most of the ones we have are the old school disney ones, remember those?  Thank you ebay!

6.  Little kid games are cheap and FUN!  Well, mostly fun for them.  Be it candyland, trouble, Hi Ho Cherry O, or Boggle Junior there is always stuff to be learned.  Even learning to take turns is a big one.  I've found a lot of fun Discovery Toys ones on garage sales.  Keep your eyes open, they're always out there!

7.  Busy bags -- some very fancy lades in our church organized a "busy bag swap" -- they did one for toddlers and for bigger kids and it's been SO great!  I love how I can pull one out and she can enjoy it for a while and then ALSO learn to put it all back in the bag before we get a new one out.  I'd highly recommend doing it!

Now, before you're all rolling your eyeballs... let me just remind you that I have been given VAST amounts of time between children.  El Presidante and Mr Middle are 3.5 years apart, and Princess P is over 5 years from them.  That gives me a lot of quality one on one time with each child... and if I'm not careful it can be spend with me on the Internet and them watching TV.  I think these first five years are an important time to get all the stuff I want in there.  I don't home school thereafter, but those first five are pretty darn important.

What do you do with your ones left at home?

What Was Your "League"

I just finished watching A League of Their Own on Netflix.  I really liked that movie when I saw it back "in the day"...  Looks like it came out in 92, and I graduated from high school in 94... so I was just starting out on my "league"... or maybe I was finishing it...

It got me thinking that all moms had their "thing" before they gave it up to have kids.  I love how Geena Davis says she's "...giving it up to have kids, they want to have kids."  I started to tear up.  I gave up my league a long time ago.  But, there are parts of me I gave up too... I love performing, and I chose nursing over flute because I felt like I needed more stability that nursing could provide, and that it would mesh well with mothering (and it does).  That happened my Jr year of high school. I miss it sometimes...

Besides that there's the mass amount of independence I left.  But I had a time where people thought I was smart and funny.  I had lots of dates and the world was my oyster...

Today, not so much.  Many of my witty comments have to be edited for the feelings of my children, I am more of a referee then a mother.  I'm constantly throwing the "wolves" to their corners to lick their wounds and be better people.

That isn't to say that my life isn't as great I ever could have imagined, but it's all so very different.  I watched those women playing to packed stands, and thought about how a few years later they were just like me with grundles of kids and tied down to their home.

It made me think about the "league" my mom left.  I rarely think about that.  But, she left it even more then me as she never worked outside the home once she was married.

The funny thing is that in reality I would trade any life of fame to have these kids.  I'd trade the lack of Independence and the money to have this little girl curled up on my lap who screams "MOMMY, I MISSED YOU SO MUCH" every time I walk in the door.  I'd do it in an instant.

But that isn't to say that I don't look longingly back at those days and wish I could maybe just spend a day back in those shoes -- just to remember what it was like and how this life really and truly is better.

What was your "league" -- do you miss it?

You Lose a Fear Each Year

Today's question is:
How do you overcome your fears the first time you do something or on the first day of a new experience?

One time Mr Middle told my mom that "you lose a fear each year" and frankly, I think it's true.  I mean, I was nervous to start the new job here -- but NOT NEARLY as nervous as I was when I started in San Jose -- and I think a lot of that comes with age.  Just being more used to being in my own skin.

That isn't to say that I didn't bawl my little eyes out the first week at our new church here....

Here's my 5 tips for new experiences:

1.  Concentrate on what you DO know.  That's what made work good, I really know how to do my job, so that wasn't the issue.  Negotiating new people though, that's a whole other bag of chips!

2.  Attitude is everything -- if you're READY for the new experience, hopefully it will be "ready" for you.  Or, at least it will seem better.  Don't you think?

3.  Suck it up.  Just remember the new experience isn't life long.  Unless you're moving a state away -- and then it is forever -- please see the other tips. :)

4.  Be friendly -- if you have other people in your corner you automatically feel more at home.  Plus, I'm so amazing, this one's easy! :)

5.  Acknowledge your fears -- no need to shove that fear so deep down you want to vomit.  You might as well say that this kind of stinks but you're going to get through it...

Because you will.  I very rarely have heard of people dying from trying new things.  I suppose it does happen though (like, if the new thing is sticking a fork in an outlet)... :)

What do you do to calm your fears?  My kids have a lot of fears, and I haven't gotten so great at this - tips for that?

There's lots more fear talk over here, you can even enter for prizes.  Who's afraid of prizes?

Who Am I?

I went to a good friend's house the other night.  I knew her in CA and now we both live here and we had a little shin-dig at her farm.  That's right, her farm.  She has a rodeo area at her HOUSE.  In fact, a couple of her animals got out while we were there and she ran out to wrangle.

To. wrangle.

In our former life I spent endless hours decorating with this woman.  She's just plain fancy.

And as I saw her wrangling (and really, since I knew she bought a farm) I thought "WHO ARE YOU?"  I mean, I may compost and garden and I may make my own bread but she WRANGLES.

I-yi-yi...

It's funny how we all change.  Honestly, if you had told me after I had Conner that I would be making my own bread, and be a gardening/composting freak I'd have laughed myself silly.  There was just no way.

And suddenly I am sensing another change.

Yesterday, I was tired of my usual viewing fare (which often consists of weight loss shows lately) and clicked over to Teen mom, and guess what... I hated it.  I actually stopped watching it.

WHO AM I?  I LOVE reality TV.  I have even found myself with serious distaste towards the dance moms.  I LOVE crazy moms!  I mean, why else would I do PTO?

Anyway, I see myself taking a real step back from reality TV.  I'm actually really liking a few BBC shows (I could probably watch Downton Abby nightly and be happy as a clam... come on third season!), and I still like Project Runway, it's just the "rubbernecking" shows -- where you're just watching the drama of it all.  Biggest loser is always a good motivator.  I guess I don't mind competition or reality shows with a goal...

I am also reading some more.  I'm trying to start up a little book group and turns out you need to read to be in book group.  I'm also reading with the kids and frankly, sometimes just trying to hold my head above water.  I'm also trying to listen to a conference talk every morning (android sure makes that easy with the scripture library you can just listen to them straight from there!) and maybe my spirit is a little more sensitive.   A good friend emailed me on the tank top issue and mentioned that a lot of times when you feel weird about something, it's the spirit telling you not to do something and if you ignore it, it will start to ignore you.  I wonder if I've ignored it before... But, people change.  I even saw a scorpion last night without wetting my pants. :)

What have you changed in?

In Case You're as Dumb as Me

The Costco coupon book doesn't start til' the 16th.  That is Thursday.

Also, you may have dropped off some stuff for ink jet refills... when you head back you should get those.

On a side note, I don't love the ink jet refills.  The colors are really sad and muted.  I think I'll still use them for black, but for color I think I'll buy genuine.  Anyone else have thoughts on that?

A Few Monday Thoughts

Can I tell you how much I can get done when I'm down 2 kids?  I-yi-yi, it's EXCITING!

I almost gave up on the weight loss thing last week.  But I didn't.

Not many comments on my tank top post... then, I was looking around church yesterday and saw plenty of adorable girls with tank tops on.  I guess the main question is, when do you start not showing shoulders?  In retrospect, it doesn't matter because I think that could be an easy slope to go down here in the desert, so we'll keep our shoulders covered until further notice. :)  Of course, Princess P loves to pull her dress up and give everyone a full frontal view, so to each their own, right?

Do you like my new header?  It's pretty fabulous, no?  I wish it was bigger.  Note to self next time.  Princess P's face makes me smile every time it comes up.  Next time I need a picture of her cleaning.  That will make me smile more.

I think that is all.  Time for a little break before the kidlet gets home.  One is down for a SORELY needed nap.  All is at right with the world.  For now. :)

Your Thoughts On Tanks

The tops I mean.  Tank TOPS, not war and peace.  Frankly... because I haven't read it.

Honestly, it wasn't something I gave a lot of thought with boys.  I'm not a huge fan of the "sleeveless" look in boys... mostly the look, nothing about the modesty of it all -- so they've never done that.

I had a few summery items for Princess P that were made with thicker tank top straps.  I felt a little weird every time she wore them...  BUT, when we moved here, she started to get crazy heat rash (gosh, I wonder why!)... so I pulled out a few of those and some really light cotton stuff, and she got through the summer.

But when she hit 3, a strict ban on tank tops went into place.  Mostly mentally.  It has to have a sleeve.  Does it need to be a giant sleeve... no, but there has to be something there beyond the "strap"...

But it's just me.  I often read 71 Toes and I read this blog without a thought except how cute her kids look and I wish someone in my house would wear yellow because it makes such great photos (although, my kids are also really white, so maybe not... but I digress).  Then, her next blog was all about how she is converted to Christ and not to elements of the gospel... but that is a pretty delicate line to walk.  I get it, but when it comes to teachings in our home, it IS the law.

Thankfully we have the "Strength of the Youth" pamphlet, which I try to read on nights when I'm a little more awake then other nights.  It's pretty explicit in there about boundaries.  It, in fact says that girls shouldn't show their shoulders.  Those crazy Mormons, right?

But I really like about 99% of the counsel in that book.  In fact, I cling to it.  We don't do drugs, we don't do pornography, we pick amazing friends and... in fact, we don't wear tank tops (or shirts that show our bellys, which is a problem around here... I'm working on that, what to do with a skinny girl with a long torso... sigh).

But, the other side of the coin is that she lives in the same dessert I do (albeit in the more Mormon-y part).  When I shop for clothes, I want to find fabric that allows you to feel naked, while still being clothed.  We've hit 115 the past few days -- heat just doesn't describe it!  But, in retrospect, she's wearing skinny jeans with it... and it is layered.  Heat can't be her excuse (and while I don't agree with it being an excuse -- here -- it is a good one).

Anyway, so what are your thoughts on tank tops?  I remember buying a few sleeveless shirts for marching band practice, a lot of because I didn't like the farmers tan that I was developing.  I always felt weird in them... so I didn't get a lot of use out of them... I don't remember my mom explicitly saying I couldn't -- but none of my friends did either.  I guss I'm just trying to say it wasn't a personal issue back then.

Do you let your girls wear them?  Do you have a certain thickness of "tank" that is OK?  I must admit there are SO many cute girl dresses that are sleeveless -- that I mostly find myself finding adorable little sweaters to go over her shoulders.

**I did want to add, that I could care less if my friends wear tank tops, or their girls do.  I don't care if they drink coffee, or are gay... I love my friends SO much.  But being Mormon makes some things a bit different (or, a lot different).  I'm not judging you if you wear a tank top -- it's just a harmless query.  Believe me -- I am judging you for MUCH different things. :)  Kidding... sort of. :)

**And for those of you wondering why in the heck we have this rule.  Once you go through the temple you wear a garment that is like a tshirt (it has capped sleeves, but you have to hvae a decent cap not to show the garment) and the bottoms go almost to your knees (depending on how short/tall you are).  Hence, we have a standard of modesty that we're trying to hold all of us to, incluidng those who haven't yet recieved the garment.  Also, we feel our bodies are very sacred and modesty is an important part in that.

Photo Friday: Firstly Dayly

Isn't the first day of school great?  Every one's so "let's go get'um" and up early and excited to see everyone. 

It's such a great new beginning. 

And then, there's only 179 more... oh boy. 

But, back to the first day:

El Presidante was a good sport to pose for pictures early, since Mr Middle leaves 1.5 hours ahead of him (don't get me started).

Just for reference, here is last year's, from this blog -- I like hour our little side window is like a measurement... wait, let me put them side by side.  Can I do that?

Apparently I can.  Darn it, I liked that black border... I should do that again.  But, look -- Conner's almost to the 2nd to the top "rung" and Spencer has surpassed the 2nd from the bottom by a good few inches.  I hate that they are growing up.  THEY hate that they have the same backpacks, but I buy Lands End so they'll last... sue me.



Then, it was time to hurry and get Mr Middle's so he could head to the bus... love that he picked out this shirt.  Will he ever wear it again? time will tell...

He was pretty thrilled about the whole thing, honestly.  In Scouts the prior week they asked who was excited to go back to school.  His hand shot RIGHT up.  It went right along with my personal rule that if you make your home a harsh environment, your kids will naturally like school! :)  Also, he has the teacher we wanted and his best friend is in the class.  Times are good around this one.


Then it was off to the bus.  Our usual stop (we are right between 2) has no kids at it anymore, so we're going to head to the other one.

I, because I am insane, then hopped in my car and jetted over to school to make sure he got in alright and feel the new year joy. 

It was a little bright out...

Mr Middle wanted to make sure all was in order....

Then it was home for El Presidante, who was thrilled in his own 12 year old way.  If that is a way...

Conner is still in the "prep" program which means his classes are a little harder then your run of the mill Jr High ones, especially math.  I've heard rumors that one of the teacher's has a serious streak.  Meaning he's hard.  I'm secretly giddy for it.  Conner seems to really like him a lot... so we'll see how the year proceeds.

 And, if I had a photo after this it'd be me running around happy that something I'd cleaned STAYED clean for more then 3 minutes.  That first day was pretty blissful.

Some Day are Diamonds...

some days are scorpions.

So, I got up with a fresh outlook, really hoping to have a nice home day with P and get a lot done, including her lessons and a lot of one on one time.  I go out to spray for weeds really quickly and I notice one of our drippers came off, so I fix it and then turn it back on -- but I hear water spraying... what is that?

Oh, the lawn -- there is water shooting out of our lawn.  Of course there is.

Drip system stops, lawn gyser stops.

Why on earth does the drip system go through the lawn?  Why do I ask?

So, I get my tools.  I have this little expandable thing that's supposed to fix it, but it never does.  I always end-up using two couplings (like the one to the right).  Why do I even try the expandable thing?  Of course, with this one you have to dig up a whole lot more dirt... but thankfully the leak loosened the dirt anyway.

Anyway, after some considerable sweat I decide to come in to see if El Presidante is ready for school.  He comes screaming down the stairs, I can't hear what he's saying -- and then it becomes clear:

"There is a scorpion in my shoe!"

I freak out inside, but I tell him to bring it to the sink.  We try to get the scorpion out but after some considerable banging he slowly crawls out onto the shoe (and we scream some more) and I brush him off with a cup and Conner slams on the garbage disposal and the hot water.  Which, reminds me -- I need to put some baking soda and water down that drain....

Blech.

In other news, did Conner remember to pack a lunch or do any of his jobs this morning.  That's a negative.  Welcome to the first day of school.  Guess who also has his first baptisms for the dead today, so I'm hesitant to let the hammer fall like I usually would. {sigh}

So, that's my morning.  It's 9 am and I'm bushed.  Curious George is entertaining the little one, and I'm having a little Internet therapy.  I vow I only get 5 more minutes on this computer of mine.

One of these days I'll have a diamond day.  Until then, Drew will be doing a a pretty thorough scorpion inspection... {this is the second we've found this week}

You've Gotta Have Freeeends...

This past Saturday I met my old roommate Kendra up in Flagstaff.  I swear I haven't seen her in more then 11 years.  She lives in the northwest and we just haven't met up at any point, which is sad.  But true.  I met her my freshman year of college, which was a difficult year for me, to say the least.  I found a friend in her when I needed a friend the very most. 

There are times in your life where you meet "game changers" -- friends who change who you are and how you think about the world.  Kendra was definitely one of those.  She was so sweet and soft spoken, most things that I'm not.  She was considerate and kind.  She was the relief society president, and I am not sure I even had a calling.  I'm sure I did.  Maybe I was an FHE mom... maybe?

Countless hours of laying on our beds (we shared a room for 2 years) thinking about getting married and what our life would be like as moms.  If we'd ever find mister right, if the guy we were currently dating, or hoping to date was "the one" -- it took up a fair amount of our time.  Kendra was actually on the list of names for Princess P, but it didn't fit.

And poof, we both got married and had babies and those times were so very long gone.  I don't get to sit and daydream any more (frankly, there wasn't a whole lot of time for that back then, but we did our fair share).  On another note, isn't college amazing?  I wish I had treasured it more.  All that time to just think about yourself.  Oh man do I wish I could go back (no nursing school though, one time was plenty of that, thanks so much).

Pueblo Wupatki -- I think.

And as I sat there and watched our daydreams in real life playing together in the warm Arizona sun I realized how lucky I was to be blessed by her.

And, as I looked at El Presidante, who started 7th grade today, I wondered if he'd find the game changers that he needed, to soften him, or to buoy him up.  How will God bless him with the people that are around him?  Will he choose the right people?  I do think that God sets us up with the right people at the right time, but it's our turn to get to choose if we befriend those people.  I wonder what my life would have been like without that game changer.

That isn't to say that I haven't had a few more game changers in my life.  They're somewhat rare.  I think we tend to seek out people who are so similar to us and make such an easy friendship there isn't much changing that happens.  Sometimes it's the friendships in which we struggle or at least struggle to see their point of view in which we change the most.

Anyway, it made me really introspective on the ride home.  Just grateful to have had her as a friend and feeling so lucky.  Hopeful that my own kids will get friends like that.

Hoping their lives won't end in ruins like the ones behind them. :)  Friends can do that, you know...

Old Vs New

Last night, as I looked around the Jr High gym... realizing that I have a 7th grader I felt a little emotional.  And it wasn't just that he's a seventh grader, who's excited to get his schedule and compare with his friends.  It was more.

Last year I walked in there without a clue who anyone was or how it would all work.  This year, our brand new principal knows me by name and a couple of his new teachers said, "I've seen you around campus, haven't I?"

Last year I walked into the elementary school Meet the Teacher night with tears in my eyes.  I couldn't believe I'd left that school and all those friends.  I was literally devastated at the thought of starting over.  And it was a tough few months, but I muscled my way in... and now I'm one of the people greeting you as you walk in.

...and I'm just here to say that if you think that you don't have the social balance that you wish you had, it's up to YOU to fix it. 

Now, don't go all crazy like I did.  I'm on the PTO board at the elementary and the secretary for the PTO at the middle school.  I. have. lost. my. mind. -- but a small part of me is excited.  Excited to meet new people and really find out what's going on at the school, hopefully help a bit and make new friends.

I'm growing to really love the ladies on the elementary PTO... a far cry from blotting my eyes as I left my first PTO meeting last year.

I know God has blessed me to be surrounded by great people, and I'm grateful for the inspiration to "put myself out there"

NOW, on another note.  Anyone who's left in California... it's time you stood up for yourselves and said that the way you're assigned teachers just isn't OK.  Throwing them up in the office and everyone dashing off campus is NOT professional.  I know that both the teachers and the students benefit from meeting each other.  Our principal does not take requests to change classes during the meet the teacher event.  The end.  I know that's their main concern (also the union probably doesn't want them to use their precious time for it... oh union), but it can work out.  I'm excited to see who Spencer will be spending his time with this year (and frankly, very glad that it's not me!). :)

Life is so, so good... don't you think?